Cute things make 3 am a lot more manageable

Another cute one. The heat lamp made everything orange though.

This is a Nigerian Dwarf goat doe and her first kid. We did a c-section to get the second kid out, but sadly he didn't make it. She is a great mom and did very well caring for her itty bitty kid.

A lost gem...

This was from the skin grafting surgery I helped with last month. I have a huge smile underneath that mask, you just can't tell!

I'm on overnights right now. This week has been a breeze, there haven't been any patients in the hospital since Thursday! Next week will be a bit more brutal though. At least I had a week to prepare...

The cute things in my life

Tomorrow is the last day of large animal surgery!! Except for my weekend shifts and Monday morning treatments of course...

Please excuse the poor quality of my iphone pictures...

Tanzi, the suffering dog who doesn't get enough attention after my 14 hours days

The 7 month old filly, my first equine patient, with a laceration under that bandage

My favorite equine patient, who I got to place 4 sutures in after the surgery had been completed. Isn't she gorgeous?

Skin graft donor site. My first skin staple line. Clearly I'm not a pro at this yet.

The famous pygmy goat, he should be the mascot of the large animal hospital. Check out that adorable underbite he sports!

Just chewing his cud like a boss. (Orange-y due to the heat lamp he lies under)

I have "tails" to tell. They will come, in time.

In short, I've learned a lot in the last month. I even learned that it is okay to not know it all, as long as you still have the desire to continue learning every day. I hope I can remember that 20 years from now.

Long silence

I have not forgotten, you've always been on my mind.



Mostly I haven't been able to get my thoughts together well enough to talk about moving back home and starting clinics.

I suppose the best way to describe the transition is "the grass is always greener on the other side".  While living in St. Kitts I missed Oregon horribly, and now that I'm home and back where I've been wanting to be I find myself missing the island more than I had anticipated. Maybe its the winter dreariness of Oregon currently, maybe its missing my friends from the island, maybe its the stress of clinics.

Speaking of clinics... its a roller coaster. When I stop and think about what I'm getting to do and learn about, its truly amazing. In the moment its less clear. I wonder all the time if people can see on my face how scared shitless this all makes me. Can they tell that I'm winging it? Do they know how nervous I am every moment? Somehow I'm making it through, and coming up with good answers here and there. I've got nothing but good feedback from my first month of rotations, but I have a feeling that this month on large animal surgery will not result in kind words from my clinicians. I'm thankful that my first patient in "large animal" was a pygmy goat. Now that is something that I am comfortable working with. He weighs thirty pounds. And he is a trained house pet. Piece of cake. Angry stallion? No thank you.

Some days, before heading to school, I think to myself, I could just quit, go run away and teach swim lessons in the Caribbean. But then I remember that I'm $250,000 in debt, and I do actually love what I'm doing, even if it brings out my biggest insecurities on a daily basis. I'll be better for it in the long run, right?